As I was getting ready, still half awake as I dressed and took Ace outside to walk, I just felt so heavily on my heart to pray for several people on my mind, people that I pray for anyway when I think about them, but I don't know why the Lord put it so clearly and heavily on my heart the burden to pray, and not just so, but I felt so strongly the need to spend more time in prayer, just in general. In wondering why and where this was coming from, I realized that I felt this because in the recent times I haven't been serious enough in my communication with the Lord. I'm one who likes to pray throughout the day as people come to my mind, but often times recently I've been getting up early (as always) and going to bed extremely late, spending my days at the hospital and evenings with friends, which is great, but I needed the Lord's gently reminder that when I wake up so early and start thinking about the day and going through the motions, and then when I crash at the end of the day with energy for nothing more except to lock the door, brush my teeth and turn off the light, things start getting out out of focus. The days start to lose purpose and rather than feeling hopeful for life, either for myself or for others... it becomes overwhelming and worry begins to rob my peace and joy from the Lord. He reminded me to pray more intentionally, beginning and ending my day with Him that He may be the focus throughout, because this is what I need. Prayer is what brings me closer to the Lord, prayer aligns my heart with His, prayer is the power of Holy Spirit in us (Romans 8:26). Prayer is what moves us to action. As I pray for others, I see that I equally benefit. Prayer helps me to be honest with my weakness. The Lord already knows me better than I know myself; nothing is hidden from Him (Hebrews 4:13). Yet in my human nature I give excuses and pretend I have it all together. As C.S. Lewis said, we must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us. See, the Lord already knows what's in my heart! My need to pray, my need to be open, is for my benefit, that the Lord may cleanse me that I may not continue to walk in darkness. The more I give the Lord what is on my heart and He takes the burden from me, the more I see that there is no where else I want to be but in His presence.
My Monday morning turned from a tired, not-wanting-to-get-up morning to having a renewed joy for the day. Simply because it was the day that the Lord made, and He was in it. He is in each moment and has a purpose, whether I am aware of it or not. I had renewed energy because no matter how many hours I sleep during the night, the JOY of the Lord is what gives me strength! (Nehemiah 8:10).
While reading the Bible before clinic started, I began the book of First Timothy and I came to this verse: I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. (1 Timothy 2:1 NLT). What confirmation of what had been laid on my hear! My deep need to pray, not how I had been before, but with a new desire. To pray for others for their sake and for mine. To pray because as His child He desires to be with me and wants me to be closer to Him. And when I am with Him I realize that there is no better place to be, that life has joyous purpose, eternal purpose.
Psalm 51:10: Create in my a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Some of our clubfoot cuties... left to right, top to bottom:
Percy and his mom, Jorvin and his big sister Jenifer, Erik,
Manuel, Colmar and his parents, Juana,
Jorge, Daniela and her mom, and little Edis (who is now a much bigger and chubbier baby!)
Percy and his mom, Jorvin and his big sister Jenifer, Erik,
Manuel, Colmar and his parents, Juana,
Jorge, Daniela and her mom, and little Edis (who is now a much bigger and chubbier baby!)
