Saturday, April 23, 2016
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Where Is The Hope?
I recently experienced the most difficult of situations that I have had thus far in nursing school, and probably one of the most difficult in my whole life. Being a nurse means at times caring for people in the most sick and most vulnerable times of their lives and it is truly an honor, but it brings with it sadness and many times a sense of hopelessness.
I had this experience very profoundly for the first time, where I truly felt hopeless and helpless. In this particular situation, the illness and complications that my patient had did not allow for any way of communication. This person could not speak nor use his hands to write. Although he was completely mentally capable, his current physical state prevented him from being able to communicate in any effective way. His primary nurse and other student nurses stood with me as we painstakingly tried to read his lips as he mouthed word by word what he was trying to communicate. In those moments I would have given anything to have a lip-reader come and save us. Among many feelings, this person was afraid, anxious, and frustrated as I stood there completely helpless, holding the hand of this beautiful soul. I could see the sweetness of his spirit as he always mouthed "thank you" with a smile every time I was able to understand and help him. The sadness of this situation was crushing me. I knew that his illness was terminal and I couldn't just hold his hand and tell him that he would be better soon.
At one point I was sitting at the computer and I began to cry. I usually can emotionally separate myself from my patients, but the realization of my lack of being able to provide for his needs profoundly affected me. I had never felt so helpless for a patient. I prayed in my heart that God would give this person peace, that he may know God's love and saving grace. For a brief moment I did feel peace, remembering that what I do is not by my might nor by my power, but by the Spirit of God (Zechariah 4:6).
As beautiful as nursing is, it can be just as heartbreaking. Any field of work has it heartbreaks. To state the obvious, we are in a broken world, and who said life would be easy? No one. On the contrary, Jesus promised hardships and persecution and trials of many kinds, but He promised to never leave us. If there is one thing I want my patients to know, it is that. And when I cannot communicate this, I remember that Jesus works through me on my behalf (Hebrews 7:25).
I can choose to live in hopelessness by what I see, or I can live in hope through faith in the One who is faithful from the beginning to the end of time (2 Cor. 5:7, Phil. 1:6).
More than anything physical healing, I want every person that I care for to have spiritual healing and know a hope that is greater than life or death.
I was able to care for this patient again the next week, and I was so happy to see his smile upon seeing me. He seemed more comfortable than the week before which was shortly after his admission and invasive procedures, and I was able to understand nearly every word he mouthed to me. I cried again upon seeing a sweet letter on his wall written to him by his daughter, but at the end of the day as he was getting ready to sleep, I was so thankful to have been able to spend time with him again. I knew that I had done all that I could have done and gave my best, and that, friends, is all that God asks of us. to walk in obedience to Him. He will take care of the rest.
I had this experience very profoundly for the first time, where I truly felt hopeless and helpless. In this particular situation, the illness and complications that my patient had did not allow for any way of communication. This person could not speak nor use his hands to write. Although he was completely mentally capable, his current physical state prevented him from being able to communicate in any effective way. His primary nurse and other student nurses stood with me as we painstakingly tried to read his lips as he mouthed word by word what he was trying to communicate. In those moments I would have given anything to have a lip-reader come and save us. Among many feelings, this person was afraid, anxious, and frustrated as I stood there completely helpless, holding the hand of this beautiful soul. I could see the sweetness of his spirit as he always mouthed "thank you" with a smile every time I was able to understand and help him. The sadness of this situation was crushing me. I knew that his illness was terminal and I couldn't just hold his hand and tell him that he would be better soon.
At one point I was sitting at the computer and I began to cry. I usually can emotionally separate myself from my patients, but the realization of my lack of being able to provide for his needs profoundly affected me. I had never felt so helpless for a patient. I prayed in my heart that God would give this person peace, that he may know God's love and saving grace. For a brief moment I did feel peace, remembering that what I do is not by my might nor by my power, but by the Spirit of God (Zechariah 4:6).
As beautiful as nursing is, it can be just as heartbreaking. Any field of work has it heartbreaks. To state the obvious, we are in a broken world, and who said life would be easy? No one. On the contrary, Jesus promised hardships and persecution and trials of many kinds, but He promised to never leave us. If there is one thing I want my patients to know, it is that. And when I cannot communicate this, I remember that Jesus works through me on my behalf (Hebrews 7:25).
I can choose to live in hopelessness by what I see, or I can live in hope through faith in the One who is faithful from the beginning to the end of time (2 Cor. 5:7, Phil. 1:6).
More than anything physical healing, I want every person that I care for to have spiritual healing and know a hope that is greater than life or death.
I was able to care for this patient again the next week, and I was so happy to see his smile upon seeing me. He seemed more comfortable than the week before which was shortly after his admission and invasive procedures, and I was able to understand nearly every word he mouthed to me. I cried again upon seeing a sweet letter on his wall written to him by his daughter, but at the end of the day as he was getting ready to sleep, I was so thankful to have been able to spend time with him again. I knew that I had done all that I could have done and gave my best, and that, friends, is all that God asks of us. to walk in obedience to Him. He will take care of the rest.
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