Our Week

While my parents were in Haiti this past week with my three younger sisters Abby, Mariah ,and Katie, and one of my older sisters, Emily, I spent the week at our house in Sanibel with my little brother Nathan and foster brother Jeremiah, along with our dear friends Scott and Kerry Hasenbalg and their three sweet kids, Cole (our boys age), Maya, and baby Leah. In order for my parents to be able to go to Haiti, they had to have someone who is legally allowed to stay with Jeremiah since he is their foster son and I as a sister am not yet over twenty-one years old. Since Scott and Kerry have completed their adoption paper work and are allowed to do respite care for foster children, they were willing to come down and stay with us for the week.

Before my parents left, I had some apprehensions about caring for Jeremiah for a long period of time without either of them around, plus schooling him. Well, was I in for a blessed surprise! Every morning we went to the quiet room at the library, and not one time did he have a bad attitude or complain about his work, as I had anticipated. Some of what he does is challenge for him, and knowing that sometimes he acts out when others teach him and having never taught him before myself, I didn't exactly know what to expect. Not only did he do all of his work well without giving me a hard time, but I really enjoyed it! There were two big lessons I learned this week with this- that it's critical for me to keep my calm and patience no matter how long it's taking to teach a concept that he can't seem to grasp. This is important when teaching all children, but especially Jeremiah and children who have come through difficult circumstances and how important positive reinforcement is for their fragile emotions. And not only did our schooling go well at the library, but Kerry did school with Cole and Nathan (about the two easiest kids to teach ever!) and Maya with her kindergarten. Every afternoon the three boys and Maya played together like the four best behaved children in the world. I must say that much of this is due to the fact that Cole's 9-year-old mind is much more like a very wise adult and he was the mediator many times, keeping Lego, swimming in the pool and other activities running smoothly. Kerry and I repeatedly said throughout the week that we couldn't have this any easier. Fully aware of my preconceived notions about the possibility of how the week could have unfolded, I continually gave my worries to God, knowing that He alone is the One who can give us peace. It ended up to be one of the most enjoyable weeks ever for me, and I think this was God's way of letting me know that He desires to bless us a we are obedient to Him. He clearly showed me this week that He will take care of me as I give my worry to Him. Jer only had one real issue on the last day, and Kerry was able to calmly talk it through with him. I know that with every difficulty we go through with him, he is learning how to love and be loved. I'm thankful that even in the frustrating times God's plan is at work and He will work all things together for good for those who love Him.

As we had a great week in Sanibel, Mom, Dad, and the girls had a very great week in Haiti, working with many organizations including Restavek Freedom, Love A Child, Convoy of Hope, and Mission of Hope Haiti. My dad is also part of getting prison ministry started and is working with a friend from El Salvador who runs a very successful prison ministry there along with their organization called El Vinculo De Amor (The Love Link).

As the kids played at the pool or beach each afternoon or were at Sea School or Logos (kids program at church) I got to spend time with Kerry shopping and having fun, but most importantly being encouraged in the Lord by her and Scott. Every time I am with them I get such godly counsel, and because Kerry understands me better than anyone I know and is so wise in the Lord, she is never ceases to constantly bring my focus back to honoring God in every area of my life. One of the big lessons I learned this week was how important it is not to strive. I shouldn't try to live by my own time and make things happen by my own power. I'm only setting myself up for failure and disappointment. When I submit to God and His timing, then I will accept everything He calls me to do with obedience and in turn He will bless me as He sees fit. Life will go according to His plan, causing me to have peace in my heart, knowing that whatever comes my way is from Him and must be necessary for what He is preparing me for. Even as we were talking about this, my mind went back to several occasions where things came together that could've only been God- things that my striving for would have only disappointed me and taken me away from enjoying the moment of life that I was in, which is another lesson I learned. Thinking too much about the past or the future, or wishing to be in other places or with other people only robs you of enjoying the moment of life you are in. Enjoy the moment, because soon life will be over and you don't want to look back and have missed the joy of fully living life at each moment. I will always be grateful that no matter where I am in life, I can always count on Scott and Kerry to give me counsel that will point me back to honoring God.

To wrap this up, I'd like to share some pictures from our fun week!

five cuties- my week in a nutshell :)

helping his little friend through the deep water

discoveries in the tide pools

daily swiming :)

helping his short buddy make a shot

daily bike rides!

I Can't Ignore It

A year and a half ago when I was at conference in Arizona, I watched this rockumentary that they were showing one night called "Call + Response." It opened my eyes to the horrible reality of modern day slavery like I had never seen before. I knew about it, but watching this reality was devastating and angering, causing me to hardly cease thinking about it and wonder what part I might play in raising awareness and bringing this tragedy to an end.

Four months after that, I went to the Passion Conference in Atlanta with my sister Emily and some friends. One of the main focuses of Passion is bringing justice to our broken world, which they call Do Something Now. All the students at the conference have an opportunity to learn about and support organizations doing Kingdom work around the world, showing the love of God by bringing justice and hope in His name. One of the many great organizations represented there was called Not For Sale. This particular cause caught my eye like none of the others. The reality of freeing young girls who have been violently forced into sex slavery was so beautiful to me, a picture of how Christ loves us and rescues us in our complete helplessness to do anything to change ourselves.

In the weeks and months and now year that has past, this cause has never ceased to be heavy on my heart. I always prayed and prayed but there was a helpless feeling in me that wouldn't go away. I've realized that the enemy wants to use this evil to depress me and make me angry, but God wants to use this evil to bring Life and Hope in Him.

I just recently finished a book called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, and it has brought this horrid reality back to life again, but in a beautiful way, just like organizations such as Not For Sale are doing. This novel is based off of the book of Hosea in the Bible, and this story is a beautiful analogy of the Father's unconditional love through a girl being brought out of prostitution and learning how to love and be loved. With this beautiful story always on my mind, I came across this blog and read this all too real account of someone who learned (only a very small fraction) of what it's like to be enslaved like this, which was an event put on by Not For Sale in effort to make this potentially "sad story" into a reality and make us see that this is REAL and happening RIGHT NOW. Sex trafficking is the third largest crime worldwide, and there are more slaves today than in any point in our history.

I wanted to share this because it's all too easy for me to hear a sad story and then think that feeling bad is all I can do. That not thinking about it will make it go away. That thinking because I can't change everything means I shouldn't change anything. That thinking it's ok to feel badly then lift my spirits by doing something that I enjoy.

The bottom line is, it's not ok. It's not ok for our hearts to not be broken for the things that break the Father's heart. This issue for me is the ultimate "Do to others as you would like them to do to you" (Luke 6:31). If I was in this position, would I not want someone to speak up for me, to bring me hope and freedom in this vicious cycle of death? This may seem like a foreign issue to some, but the reality is that one of the largest sex trafficking locations is right here in the US in the city of Denver, Colorado. How can I worry about if I'm having a good hair day or if my house is clean or what football team will win the Superbowl (which, by the way, the Superbowl is a major attraction for sex trafficking- read here). How?! How can I go about my easy life and completely ignore God's command in Proverbs 31 to "speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."

"Maybe sex slavery still exists and will continue to exist because we're too comfortable and the thought of little girls being forced to have sex all day and night it too much for our delicate senses..."

So, I encourage you, don't turn away from this because it's easier and less painful to do so. I encourage you to pray for the perpetrators of this crime. Pray that their hearts will be changed and that they will seek justice. Pray for the victims, that they will be freed and turn to their loving Father who alone can turn their ashes into beauty. Support organizations working to end slavery such as The Restavek Freedom Foundation and Not For Sale.

"Wake up child, it's your time to shine, you were born for such a time as this."

Dad's Surprise 60th Birthday Cruise!!!

For the past 7 months, my mom had been preparing a cruise to the Bahamas for my dad's sixtieth birthday. It was really a double surprise for my dad- he found out we were going to the Bahamas when we showed up at the dock by the huge ships. Then a few hours later we were going to a "welcoming session" on the cruise where some of my family's closest friends from all over the map gathered to surprise him! We all had an awesome week spending time with each other. It was great for my family's friends to all meet each other and be able to put names to faces. Having everyone together really reminded me that we are blessed with some of the greatest friends in the world, andthat was only a small part of them! The only family we missed were Andrew and Jen who couldn't make it because their twins Rory and Bri were too little.... by about a week! :( But we still had an amazing time and were thankful for those who could make it. My dad was so surprised by all of it!

Dad and his brothers- older brother John and younger brother Tom

Nassau- Going to Atlantis!

Snorkeling at Great Stirrup Cay Island!

The last night of the trip, everyone gathered in my parent's suite to share a few words about Dad. Do we have some encouraging friends! Every word that our dear friends shared about him that night was so true and not only was it a blessing for my dad to hear, but also for the rest of us. Several people shared Scripture that reminded them of Dad, and each one was different yet so true about him. To all of my dad's friends, whether you were there for his sixtith or not- I'm so thankful for you!

Here are a few qualities of my dad that I'm really grateful for:

- My dad is the picture of calm in the midst of chaos. With nine children (currently ten with our foster son) six grandchildren, and his busy life that he has to manage which has him all over the map on a regular basis, he somehow keeps his calm, even when others around him freak out, he has a way of staying peaceful, being a constant example of how God desires us to live.

"Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace." -Psalm 37:37

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." -Colossians 3:1

- My dad's patience is amazing. When it should be so easy to lose patience with so many things going on at once, he is an example patience whether it's with nagging and bickering little kids, frustrating older kids, or any other number of circumstances and people that life brings him. I lose my patience in a flash, and this is something that I'm really trying to work on! I'm thankful that I have Dad's example to look to.

"Love is patient, love is kind...." -1 Corinthians 13:4

- The grace that my dad has is something that I'm always encouraged by. When I'm scared to tell him something, I always realize after the fact that I shouldn't have been. Instead of being angry at me when he so easily could be at times, he thanks me for coming to him and encourages me in ways that we can solve the situation. What a Christ-like example that is for me to see. It encourages me to keep moving forward, and to show grace to others.

"It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace....." -Hebrews 13:9

"But He gives us more grace. That is why the Scripture says: 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'" - James 4:6

- I never hear my dad complain. No matter how much he is wronged, he keeps graciously moving forward. The most profound time when I saw this quality in him was three years ago (but I didn't fully realize it until much more recently) when he was paralyzed and had to re-gain all of his leg strength and learn to walk again, which was a long and hard journey. Not once did I see him go to "why me?" After all, my dad is a hard-working man who is always looking out for the best of others and has active children and grandchildren and desires to be a part of their lives. He was the last person in my opinion who should've been "punished" with this trial. But looking back on the situation, I see God's purpose in it. My dad can walk better now than he could've before the injury. He was a living example to all of us to never complain but to keep you head up with a positive attitude because God has a plan, even if we can't see it. When I broke my ankle eight months ago, something so minor in comparison, I was constantly able to look at my dad's example when I just felt like complaining at its inconvenience.

"Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, 'children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation'..." - Philippians 2:14-15

-Dad always puts the needs of others before himself. He joyfully serves those around him without ever thinking what he wants or will make him the happiest. He could have chosen to live an easy and carefree life, but he and my mom chose to pour their lives into us (their kids) and everyone else God has placed in their lives. When it's easier to just say no, Dad chooses to take the harder path because he's not looking to satisfy what he wants, but rather how he can help those whom God has put in his life. He sees the bigger picture. He's storing his treasures in heaven. He gets it. My dad really gets it.

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." - Romans 12:10

Happy 60th Dad. May God bless to with many more years to be a light and encouragement in the darkness.

Antsy

I can't sleep tonight. As I was just laying here thinking and praying into these wee hours of the morning, trying to calm down, my mind just kept racing, and even though I know that I need sleep and I wish that I could be snoring away like my sister next to me and my little brothers and sisters down the hall, it seems like the more I try to sleep, the more I keep thinking about these things, on top of the thousand other thoughts and prayers that I already have about the people of the world, this is what's going on at this particular moment.

• For one, it is my first night in Sanibel in a year, and I can't wait to wake up in the morning and go for a run in the beautiful weather WITHOUT ice and snow and WITHOUT wearing three layers and gloves and a hat! I know I need good rest for a good run, but this is obviously a little too exciting!
• Two, tomorrow we go to Miami for my dad's surprise 60th birthday present. and since it's a surprise, I can't say what it is until it happens! But that is the main reason for my lack of sleep- I'm so excited for it!!!
• Three, I left my camera's memory card reader back home in PA, so I am really bummed that I won't be able to download pictures from the Philadelphia Flower Show that I went to with some of my siblings and relatives the night before I came here and all the rest of the pictures that are to be taken here until I get home. Unless Abby comes to save the day and has brought hers. I just wish it was morning so I could ask her!
• Four, I really miss Ace. I've never been in this house without him, and it's just weird. Everything here oddly reminds me of him. Sabibel is great and all, but I don't like it as much without him and even though he's only a dog, I'm finding it very hard to sleep without him and am being reminded of all those freezing cold night in Guatemala when I just wished that I could magically turn one of my pillows into him.
• Five, I'm reading a really good book called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It's one of the best books I've ever read, and I'm not normally a fan of novels. But I'll tell you what, I think you should read it! I'm at a really good point in the book and I can't stop thinking about it what going to happen next!

Before I started writing this, while I was laying here trying to lay aside my thoughts till morning, a line from a song that my mom always used to play for us at night when we were kids came to my mind: "He will keep you in perfect peace, perfect peace, perfect peace. He will keep you in perfect peace, if you keep your mind on Him."

Just focus on Him, and He'll take care of the rest.

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!"

-Isaiah 26:3

Praising God

For good friends, and for the joy that we can have because He gives us peace that passes all understanding.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
-1 Thess. 5:16-18

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.
-Revelation 21:4

Litany of Humility

C.S. Lewis wrote in his book Mere Christianity,

I now come to that part of Christian morals where they differ most sharply from all other morals. There is one vice of which no man in world is free; which every one the world loathes when he sees it in someone else; and of which hardly any people, except Christians, ever imagine that they are guilty themselves. I have heard people admit that they are bad-tempered, or that they cannot keep their heads about girls, or even that they are cowards. I do not think I have ever heard anyone who was not a Christian accuse himself of this vice. And at the same time I have very seldom met anyone, who was not a Christian, who showed the slightest mercy to it in others. There is no fault which make a man more unpopular, and there is no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it in ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.

The vice I am talking about is Pride or Self-Conceit. And the virtue that is opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility.

____________________________________________________________________

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should...

-Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val

Happy 2011! New Year, New Plans

So.....where to start? I had an awesome celebration of the New Year with my family and friends, both old ones and new. After being in Guatemala for several months, it was so wonderful to spend time with my family and seeing friends that I had been looking forward to seeing for so long!

Below is our Christmas/New Years picture for 2010. We had two "final" pictures to decide between to be the one sent out to all of our friends and family, and there was quite a huge family discussion (or should I say argument) over which one it should be. Afterwards, I was really regretting being a part of the argument and for allowing anyone other than Mom to see the pictures because I realized how ridiculous it was! Does it really even matter? I am definitely the most picky about having everyone arranged perfectly and looking exactly right. Well, clearly it's nearly impossible to have all of us looking "good" in the one photo (especially as our family grows!), and this is when I realized, why try? Why try to make us look perfect when we are so far from it? This is who we are, and there's no need to try to fake it! I'm so blessed to have this loving family and be able to spend time with all of them together, and nothing else should matter! (Even though I will always love a good picture ;)

I've been home for two weeks now and although I miss Guatemala a lot and miss being able to speak Spanish everyday, I'm looking forward to what is in store for now until I return to Central America again. Before I went to Guatemala my plan was to start school this semester at Eastern University for nursing. However, while there I decided that I want to complete a Discipleship Training School with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) before college. They have schools all over the world, their main campus being in Hawaii, and I've decided that I either want to attend the one in Guatemala or El Salvador, which both begin in July. Before I even applied to colleges I felt that I wanted to attend a Bible school first, and when I was Guatemala it was really clear to me that that is what I felt like I need to do. While in Guatemala I was also offered a job with CURE International in Honduras. This is like a dream come true job for me! So after YWAM I will most likely be taking the job there getting nursing training and helping in other areas of their ministry. Because I decided to not start college this semester, my plan was to go back to Guatemala to continue studying for several months before the DTS starts. However, my friend Kerry and her husband Scott (who works with Show Hope) were visiting us for New Years, and Kerry expressed to me a need for assistance with getting supplies ready for Show Hope's medical missions trip to Maria's Big House in China to do more cleft lip/palate surgeries on the children there, and also to be of assistance to Scott with his office work. I was thrilled to be offered this opportunity! They are some of the most influential people (I just tried to use the word "impactful" and realized that it's not a real word in English!) in my life and to be able to spend time with them and serve with Show Hope is an amazing gift that I am so grateful for!

This example of God's complete provision in my life and His perfect timing reminded me of a lesson that I've been learning for a while now. As I look back at these past several years, there have been many times that I would worry about the future, where I should go to college after I graduated and and what I should do with my life. I knew that I shouldn't worry or have fear of what would happen. I knew that this wouldn't bring me closer to God or bring more peace in my life, but so many times I found myself focusing on my circumstance and what they might look like in the future, and even on circumstances of other people in my family. I would lose sight of the fact that when I worry about what might happen, there is no grace. There is only grace for this present moment, there is no grace for what is not real. The future hasn't happened yet and when I stress about it, I'm saying that I don't trust that God knows exactly what will happen and will carry me through whatever comes.

As this new year begins, I am grateful for God's perfect timing and His guidance each step of the way. I'm thankful for His forgiveness when I choose wrongly and that His mercies are new everyday. I'm so grateful that He is faithful when I trust Him and when I lose sight of the fact that He is always in the details and cares more about my life than I do. I'm thankful that each day is one step closer to eternity and I pray that each moment would be lived out remembering that this earth is not my home, but preparation to be with my Creator forever!

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

Dear friends, I warn you as "temporary residents and foreigners" to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls.

1 Peter 2:11

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matt 6:20-21