Litany of Humility

A prayer that I need to remember daily.

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I,Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I,Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside,Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

-Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val

The song I have been subconsciously singing for the past few days...

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the World by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Who's Coming?!

I'm so excited to have Audio Adrenaline coming to our very own Wilkes-Barre, PA! October 3-- Invite your friends and tell them to invite theirs! This is going to be a night that you don't want to miss.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway. 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

 If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway. 

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the end, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

Thoughts From Here to There...

I've been back in Philly now for two weeks, taking care of my little nieces Aurora and Brielle and baby nephew Levi as my sister-in-law Jen is getting ready to have baby number four... any day now! August came three days ago, so we are eagerly awaiting this little one's arrival at anytime. Last night from across the room I saw Jen's belly moving around as the baby hiccuped, making her whole little body move inside. the concept of growing humans inside our bodies never ceases to amaze me... a full-sized baby right there inside of her. It seems so normal and then when I think about it, it doesn't seem like it should be possible. 

As I spend these quieter days walking to the park with the kids, playing the backyard with chalk, swinging on the hammock, playing in the hose and buckets of water on hot days, watching Leap Frog and Curious George, changing diapers and washing clothes, making so many PB&J sandwiches, having dance parties to Taylor Swift's Trouble and Zac Brown Band's Jump Right In, picking up all the books and Legos before nap time, I am grateful for these days. They seem to last so long, but in reality they fly by, and I know I will miss them so much when I am back at the university. I literally love being with them so much that it never gets old. How blessed am I to do this as my job! My little nieces and nephs are really growing so quickly, and I want to appreciate each moment I have with them because who knows where time will take us! I seem to fit better in the baby world than the college-aged world anyway...but I love what I am studying and my I never take for granted my education! 

During these quieter days, my mind always wanders back to my life in Honduras and the many adventures I have been privileged to experience.

The two weeks that I just spent there flew by as I adventured around San Pedro and beyond with my friends. The first night after an awesome time at the Musical Garage seeing my dearly missed friends, we jumped in the back of Mauri's pickup truck and as the rain began to fall on us as we drove through the streets, I couldn't take the smile off my face. To be in the land that I haven fallen in love with... never am I happier. 

It was a great adventure to El Salv and Guatemala the first week, and a great second week in La Entrada de Copan, two hours outside the city, the beautiful location of Youth for Christ's camp. 

These past few weeks it has dawned on me what a different Honduras I know than that of everyone else I know in the US. What they know of Honduras, especially San Pedro, "the most dangerous place on earth" and "the murder capital of the world." Yes, the drug gang violence is horrible. Just for one stat, 79% of the cocaine transported from South America to the US goes through San Pedro. It's a huge transport location for drugs, and the violence this causes is beyond my comprehension. 

However, when I am there, I do not see the violence and danger. What I see are people passionate with hope for peace in their country. When I am there I feel the presence of God more than anywhere else, and I SEE Him working in the lives of those who love Him. I SEE Him changing lives as His love transforms them. I see hope like I don't see it anywhere else. I see Him in their faces. 

A missionary friend of mine who has served in Honduras for 20+ years posted this PBS news report a couple days ago.. again, this what people in the US see, this is the Honduras that they know. 

This video is graphic and VIEW DISCRETION IS ADVISED. 

It's hopelessly depressing to see this and focus on the darkness. That night after I watched this, I couldn't sleep and I was just praying.. I felt a spiritual attack come upon me and sadness began to overwhelm me, a deep hopelessness. I began to pray against the presence of the darkness in my life and for restoration in Honduras. When I focus on the pain I don't see the hope. But when I think about the JOY of living there, I remember that this is not the Honduras that I know. Everywhere I turn, I see Jesus. At the hospital where I used to work, when I am at the Musical Garage, at International Christian Fellowship, at my young adult's group at International Ministry Nido de Aguiles, with Youth for Christ, everywhere I am a part of people with a true passion for the glory of Jesus. And when there is true passion for Jesus, nothing more is needed. 

Every time I go back to visit, it's fun to see the new songs that my friends have added to their repertoire for the weekly Sesion de Alabanza (Worship Session). I was thrilled to see them add one of my favorites, Matt Redmond's We Are the Free. As I've mentioned before, I had the privilege of singing here with my friend Hector and the band when I while living there. It's always a joy to be back and see them faithful in worship, every single week. Going out and taking children and drug addicts off the streets and showing them a better way. This is the Honduras that I know. 

We are the free, the freedom generation

Singing of mercy

You are the One who set us all in motion

Yours is the glory

There’s a fire in our hearts and it burns for You

It’s never gonna fade away

We are the free, and Yours is the glory

Up from the grave He rose again

Up from the grave He rose and we will

Rise up, rise up

Into the world that You so love

Into the world we go and we will

Rise up, rise up

We are the free, the freedom generation
Singing of mercy
You are the One who set us all in motion
Yours is the glory

Maine to Philly to Honduras (and El Salv and Guate!)

It's been a week and two days now since I've been home from Maine, and it's been a chill time hanging out in hot and rainy Philly at Andrew and Jen's with them and their three littles Rora, Breezy, and Levi. 

Starting out my summer by going to Seminar by the Sea in Ocean Park, Maine was an incredible experience. I highly recommend this class (which is given through my school, Eastern University) to my college age friends! We had wonderful faculty and faculty assistants with whom I've created dear friendships. We had a variety of visiting faculty, and each class was filled with honest discussions, learning new concepts, and becoming aware. We also watched fascinating documentaries. Readings for class, writing responses, reflection papers, and our final project took up most of our time, but we as students had the chance to be together at the beautiful Oceanwood Camp, and spend time on the beach just a short walk down the street. It was also a great opportunity to be away from cell phones and the business of life and just be in creation and enjoy the world and people around me. This close-knit community created friendships that I will cherish for a long time. The best part about this class is that our faculty, Rebecca, Landi, Jen, and Xaris, cared not only about our academic progress, but about us as people. My hope to begin finding value in my own voice was fulfilled; it is clear to me that God lead me to this place and gave me these mentors at this time as I begin to walk in a new way. I am confident that He who began a good work in me will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil. 1:6). This experience was the best way I can imagine beginning my summer, and really the rest of my college years.

In just a few hours I will head to Honduras. I am so excited to go see my friends Ted, Susan, and Grace who are working with CURE, to spend time in worship with my dear friends at the Musical Garage, to be a part of ministry with Juventud Para Cristo (Youth for Christ), and to see my friends and missionary friends at my church, International Christian Fellowship, specifically Samaritan's Purse, Manos Unidos En Cristo, and Reach Out Orphanage Ministries! I'm grateful to know these people and to have the opportunity be once again be in this land that I love so much, that I miss calling "home."

One of my classmates and new friends from Seminar, Maggie, is currently in El Salvador, so once I get to Honduras I will jump on a bus and go see her and her friends for a few days, and we are also going to take a quick trip to Antigua, Guatemala, which I am SO excited for! Antigua was my first home away from home. I'm so excited to see all my Iglesia del Camino and YWAM friends!!! Plus my Spanish school and maybe even my teacher if she is still there. This little El Salv/ Antigua addition was super last minute  (within the last few days!) and I'm in complete awe as I see God work out these details. I didn't even try to make any of this work out; it all just fell into place! I cannot wait to be with friends and ministries that are so dear to me.

kings and queens

as i was sitting at andrew and jen's last night on the sofa with my dog, writing in a quiet house after three little happy babies went to bed, this song randomly came into my head. my favorite. random songs are always running through my head, and i'm usually humming it, and it's best when it's one i love. 

is this not the best?! 

it never gets old. i think that's always the way God's kingdom works.

i am continually humbled and in awe as i see the work that God is doing in Haiti and that my family has had the privilege to be a part of. i am so blessed to see my parents develop such amazing friendships and ministry partners in our friends such as ray and joan conn with the resatvek foundation, love a child orphanage, convoy of hope, and mark stuart and family with the hands and feet project. there are many many more than i can even name.

just after the semester ended and before i left for maine, i had the chance to be in nashville for show hope's 10th anniversary celebration! 

they had several amazing friends and musicians come and share, one being audio adrenaline who shared this favorite!