No Longer Slaves (Jonathan and Melissa Helser)

This is my declaration as I celebrate completing 24 years of life and begin this year that will end in me completing a quarter century.

Cheers to living each day and each moment as if it could be my last, rejoicing in nothing else than being a child of God and no longer a slave to fear.

A Cloudy Eclipse

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts". -Isaiah 55:8-9

Last night we had a super blood moon total eclipse. I was hearing all the chatter about it from friends at school and on facebook. I was so excited anticipating this great event, but I didn't understand what all of it meant, so during little breaks from studying for my first pediatric nursing exam, I was reading an article about it. I have always loved astronomy, and I love those rare or "once in a lifetime events," (hence why I biked 25 miles with my friends this weekend in attempts to see the Pope in our city). Anyway, I found out that this astronomical event where three separate lunar events converge hasn't happened since 1982 (only happening 5 times since 1900), and won't happen again until 2033. As I said, I have always loved astronomy; when I was just a little tiny one and my parents would let us stay up late and stare gaze, looking for shooting stars at the lake or on the roof deck outside my parents' room. 

But last night, every time I went outside to see the moon, thick gray clouds were covering as far as my eye could see in every direction. My friends a couple hours north at home in Bear Creek were having better success, but my friends and I around here got nothing. I couldn't believe that this rare event, this beautiful alignment of the sun, moon, and earth, was being completely covered by clouds! A bunch of misty clouds were entirely blocking my view of the powerful sun shining on the moon. When I think of what the sun is made of and what clouds are made of, I think it is amazing that clouds have the power to completely separate us from seeing the sun. 

As I continued to study pediatric nursing and checking the sky every once in a while, I was thinking about how I sometimes let the clouds in life completely blind me from seeing the goodness of God. I forget that the clouds might not be beautiful to me, but what would earth be without the clouds? Bone dry and dead. We need the rain and the shade to keep the earth and us all alive. 

God is the creator and orchestrator of our lives. I have to trust daily that He knows best and that His promises are true, even when I don't see it. When the clouds are covering the sun and the moon and I wonder if they are there, I have to remember what I know to be true. That I have seen them, experienced them, and I know they are there. When I wondering if God cares, I have to remember that I have seen Him, experienced Him, and instead of shaking my fists and complaining about the clouds and that I have to study instead of watching the blood moon, I can trust that His ways are perfect, and in the end of the story of my life on earth that God is writing, if I have been been faithful to rejoice and trust Him in every season, I will be able to see all the ways He used my life for His glory, which is the point anyway.

I may not have been able to see the blood moon last night and won't get to for at least 20 years, but God used it to reminded me of His faithfulness whether the sun is shining or the clouds are surrounding me and covering all the light. It is all needed and all part of the story. 


Louie Giglio has a sermon about astronomy and I think about it often. About how God's greatness is in fact far beyond my comprehension and I remember how small I am in the grand scheme of life, yet loved infinitely, beyond measure, individually. Each of us are known and created uniquely by Him (this sermon is definitely worth a watch; I've been listening to this one since I was 16 and it never gets old :)). 

You Don't Know You're Beautiful

     I may or may not have titled this post from a One Direction song, but let's admit, some of their songs have great lyrics.

     While in Honduras this summer I had an interesting experience one day at the mall with my friend. We were browsing around, looking for a birthday present for a friend. Coming upon a clearance table, of course we stopped to see if there was anything worth buying. 
     Not having much time in the sun this summer, my skin color is fairly white, and when compared with most of my Honduran friends who are pretty tan, my skin looks even whiter. It's an on-going joke between me and the friend who I was with that we would trade skin colors if we could. It's that idea that people always want the opposite of what they have. I always laughed about that concept and never thought of it as a big deal, but at the clearance table when my friend reached for the "whitening cream" to make her skin paler, something struck me. I have purchased countless bronzing and tanning oils and creams and have spent hours in the sun trying to tan my skin as much as I can. And here my friend was purchasing cream to make her skin whiter. 
     I got so angry in that moment that society tells us that we need to look a certain way to be the most beautiful, and we believe it and we literally buy into this lie that we need all these make-ups and body products in order to look ideal. It's all a hoax in the pursuit of money. 
     Now I did grow up being taught indirectly that make-up is bad, and even though I tried to wear it in my early and mid-teens, it was soon burned into my brain that I should not wear it. So from then on I didn't put much thought into make-up, and I struggled with not judging people who did wear it. Fast forward to after I graduated and moved out on my own and then started college, there was a lot of confusing thoughts I had about it and I never really landed on an opinion. I sometimes wanted to wear make-up to dress up, but I felt badly about it. By my third year of college I became indifferent to whether people wore it or not. I personally didn't have enough hours to sleep at night and usually barely had enough time to make coffee before running out the door in the mornings, so make-up was  certainly off of my to-do list. 
     Then when I had this experience at the mall with my friend, I just got angry and sad that we believe that we need to look a certain way to be beautiful and I wished that make-up didn't even exist.  
     It's funny though because during this same time in Honduras before this encounter, I was learning to like wearing make-up for fun and for dressing up because most of my Honduran girl friends love it,  but it was not something I felt was necessary for my daily life. 
     So I leave you with this: I had professional make-up put on for the first time in my life for an event I was going to in Honduras, and it was great fun and a memorable experience. I have never looked like that before, and some people didn't even recognize the photos of me! But you know what my friend told me with whom I went to the event? That I didn't need the make-up, that I was just the same without it because I am who I am no matter if my face is colored a certain way or not. 
     Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised (Proverbs 31:30, NLT). 

hopping from place to place...

.....Which seems to be the trend in my life right now and over the past three years, and I am wondering if I need to fully accept that this will be life or if I will plant my roots deep somewhere in the near-ish future. Only God knows! 

     Anyway, after my return from Guatemala, I was extremely fortunate to see many of my close friends and family in a small two week time-frame. I was home in Gladwyne and Bear Creek to see my family, cousins, and also family visiting from Missouri whom I rarely get to see!! I also went to Danville and Hershey to see family/friends that I only see maybe once a year. The timing working out so well being able to see so many people at once between my international travel was a surprise that I am really thankful for. 

     I have been learning these past few weeks that when I stress and try to make everything happen that I want to happen, it usually doesn't work out, but when I have peace knowing that God is in control and give him my desires, everything works out better, and whether it's what I want or not at that moment, I can have peace knowing that God always knows what is best.

     I am now in to San Pedro Sula, Honduras, for the month. It is always such a joy for my to go back to my other home and spend time with my friends and be a part of life there. 

AND... my brother Andrew came down here with a few of his friends, and we overlapped for a day and get to hang out! I was so happy to be able to show him around the city and country that I love so much, even if briefly. Neither of us knew the timing that the other would be there so it's very happy for me that this worked out.

     Since moving back to the U.S., I have only been able to go back for one or two week trips at a time, so I am glad to have a bit more time there now, although I wish I could stay longer (remember how hopping from place to place seems to be the trend for me right now? Yikes... summer is a busy time! Though a lot of aspects of hopping around is difficult, I consider it a huge privilege and blessing to be able to spend time in these places with these people who are so dear to me).

     The hospital I worked at in San Pedro Sula has since closed, but I have so many friends there doing great work who always love to have volunteers. 

     Shari and Terry have had a ministry for the homeless in SPS for years now, and it is awesome to spend time with them in their outreach. This past December I got to be a part of their Christmas celebration, and a lot of people donated to me new or gently used t-shirts which we were able to put in the gift bags, and it was a huge blessing for the people who come to the ministry. For more information, check out their ministry is MANOS UNIDOS EN CRISTO (Hands United in Christ), and follow them on Facebook!

   My friend Tara and her husband Jorge operate the ministry they started, Identity Mission, which works with the orphans in Honduras. It is awesome to see how this ministry is expanding and how many children are being placed in loving foster and forever families. For those who are not, IM works on supporting the orphanages to the best of their ability so that the children's needs are met as much as possible. They also work with special needs orphans; many need physical therapy, surgery, or other types of treatment, and they are faithfully helping each child who they come into contact with who needs any kind of health care. You can also follow them on Facebook.

   The third ministry which I was most involved with while living in Honduras and am still most involved with is Juventud Para Cristo Honduras (Youth for Christ). This is a huge international organization that works in many countries around the world, including the U.S., as many of you may know. The director of JPC/YFC Honduras, Mauricio (and wife Ana), is a dear friend of mine and his family has become like family to me. I love helping out at weekend and summer camps, and traveling around the country to help with programs in the schools, orphanages, homeless shelters, churches, and the like. Through this program I have met some of my dearest friends and have blessed in huge ways by this ministry over the past four years.

   For those of you who read my blog, follow me on Insta and/or Facebook, thank you for your support and prayers and for being a part of my life in the grand story that God is writing.

News From Guatemala

    

The beautiful [empty] clinic that God-willing will soon be a casa materna! 

      In these past few weeks I have come to love the people of San Juan and the surrounding communities. Lesbia and her family (husband Juan, daughters Elena (17), Oneida (16), and Cana (11) have welcomed me into their family and so kindly taken care of me. San Juan is one of many little towns on Lake Atitlán, situated deep in the beautiful mountains, which on many days jut out high above the clouds. 

     Besides learning much about the culture here and learning to make tamales and tortillas (though I am far from perfecting this skill!), Lesbia and I and the people we are working with have made much progress with the casa materna project (see last section of my last post for background info). This beautiful clinic that was built by an organization in Spain has never opened because the community does not have the funds to staff it and keep it running.
     The people of these communities and their local representatives of San Juan and its three villages, Palestina, Panyebar, and Pasaquim, all have shown huge support and gratitude for those who are making this casa a reality. 

     It has been encouraging for me to be a part of meeting with these people and hearing their thoughts about this project. During our second to last meeting, one of the younger representatives told us of the terrible experience he and his wife had a year and a half ago when their baby was born. He excitedly told us that now in the future he is going to have another baby with the implementation of the casa! 

     The next months will be exciting as Erica organizes training teams to come down and they prepare to staff the casa. We are praying for many saved and many changed lives in this region of Guatemala and beyond. 

Birth Stories

    While here on this casa materna project, I have been working alongside Lesbia doing prenatal house visits and also in the clinic she works at two days a week (Clinica San Juanerita). We've had 3 births in the month that I've been here; the first one was due to be born at the house, but after hard labor all day with no progression, the poor young first-time mama was worn out and wouldn't work with us anymore. We took her to the local centro de salud (health center) as the only other option. The doctor there saw that the baby was ready to be born, but told us that if it isn't born in two pushes she'll have to send us to the hospital (closest hospital is 2 hours away in Sololá) because the baby was beginning to go into distress and they are not equipped for emergencies (much less fully equipped for a normal birth). We are very thankful that the baby was born within minutes with no complications- it is by the grace of God. The baby most likely would not have survived had we gone to the hospital. A little girl of 6 pounds, 6 ounces! 

With Lesbia, just minutes old in the centro de salud

     The second birth that was due to happen was not happening- it was seven days past her due date and she wasn't going into labor. When this happens, Lesbia sends them to the hospital to be induced. Paying for transportation is usually and issue for families here, and was an issue in this case so I am thankful that I was able to help them get there. Lesbia and I left with them at 5am to arrive by 7am. They were supposed to induce her that morning, but by that evening she was still only two centimeters dilated. Her poor husband had no where to stay that night (families are not allowed in the hospital rooms). We were wondering how long they would let her go before they increased her induction medicine. We found out early the next morning that at 3am a baby boy of 8 pounds 6 ounces was finally born- and they did not end up with a C-section! Although they still hadn't permitted the father into the room when he called us hours after the delivery, we were very thankful for this news of the birth. By 2pm that day they were on their way back to San Juan. 

Visiting after arriving home from the hospital 4 days prior

     The third birth came more quickly than expected. It was still two weeks before the mother's due date, but after dinner we heard that she was having regular contractions so we went to check on her progress and see how the baby was doing. We didn't expect her to go into full labor upon our arriving, so I wasn't prepared to stay for the long haul. Lesbia had all her equipment with her as she is always prepared for anything. Around 11pm she told me to rest so that I would be ready when the baby came. At 1am she woke me and it was evident that the baby was ready. This poor young first-time mama was just worn out (which is a theme here!) but with our strong encouragement she managed to push out a baby boy before 2am! He was healthy in appearance and began crying right away, but the mother began to hemorrhage profusely. I quickly helped Lesbia prepare two oxytocin injections which she administered immediately, but the mom kept bleeding. As I massaged her uterus and the grandmother kept giving her gatorade, Lesbia called out for someone to call a tuk tuk (taxi) immediately because we needed more oxytocin and we had none. We were praying for God's grace to intervene and we hoped that we had enough time to get to the San Juan centro de salud (health center) by the time a tuk tuk arrived (in the middle of the night they are unreliable). By the time the tuk tuk got there, her bleeding has lessened and soon it stopped. We told the tuk tuk to stay in case she were to start bleeding again. Thankfully she never lost consciousness and didn't bleed again. Baby boy of about 7 pounds began nursing right away, and around 3:30am everyone was hot and ready to sleep! 

Just minutes old! 

     Seeing first-hand the birth experiences of the women in this area of Guatemala makes me all the more thankful for this casa caterna to be implemented. 

     I thank each of you who are praying for the people of Guatemala and those who will be impacted by the implementation of the casa. We pray for God's will to be done above all else. 

a summer to love.

     may 5^th came and i was so thankful that the seemingly never-ending semester had, by the grace of God, come to a successful close. what better way to celebrate such happiness than cinco de mayo! although maybe the most challenging season of my life, the semester was also one of the best. I have learned and gained so much experience and I am so thankful to be in this nursing program. 

the next day i flew with my best pal (aka sister) claire to sanibel, florida where my parents and three youngest siblings are now residents. the sun and sand and salt air and bike rides and the pool and boat rides and the relaxing and having fun with my siblings has finally arrived.

     in just one week that went by way too quickly, i was back on a place to pennsylvania for the wedding of lauren, my close friend since childhood. my sister emily and her husband shami had already arrived from rwanda; I hadn’t seen them since their wedding 7 months prior. emily and i were the matron and maid of honor in lauren and josh’s wedding, and it was a beautiful and fun day.

     two days after the wedding, i flew with emily and shami and sister sarah and her husband dan to newport beach, california, to visit shami’s family, where his parents and brother and sister live. my brother jon lives about 5 hours north of newport beach, so he drove down to spend the week with us. although i wished that the rest of my siblings could have been there, we had such a fun time! we walked the beaches and watched the surfers and i daydreamed about the day when I would be a california resident and learn to surf. we ate the most amazing food (seriously), explored the shops at fashion island, took a duffy boat out in the harbor and saw wild seals and beautiful homes. and at night i fell asleep by the fire place outside under the stars and the olive tree. shami truly has a wonderful family who have not only taken emily in as family, but all of us! so far, i’d say my family is 3 for 3 in the in-law family department!

     when we returned fom cali to pennsylvania i went to bear creek with my friend from school, thanny, for a few days to hang out and see my cousins and also my family who had just arrived for the summer from sanibel. we had fun on the lake with the new paddle boards and awesome rope swing. may 2015 has been a month to love and remember forever. 

     that has brought me this week- welcome june! i went to central PA (danville) to visit my friend erica and her wonderful family (she and her husband have 4 precious kids). erica is a doctor at geisinger and is working with some people in guatemala to start a maternity clinic in the town of san juan. i am going for the month of june to work with a guatemalan midwife, lesbia (friend of erica's) and the mayor's office of san juan to begin the process of raising awareness and support in the surrounding communities for this new clinic. the closest hospital from san juan is about two hours away on terrible roads, and many times the town ambulances don't work or refuse to take patients if they don't deem it an "emergency." most families don't have the money to pay for transportation to and from the hospital, and in case of emergency it is far away. the local health centers have few recourses and usually have little or no medicine. 
     the plan for this clinic is to make it a casa materna, which are birthing centers that are staffed 24/7 for these mothers to come and give birth in a safe environment. we will have ambulances that can bring women from the surrounding areas to the casa at any time. curamericas-guatemala has a successfully functioning casa in northwest area of guatemala, and we hope to implement the same here. 
     using the care group model (created by world relief), the casas teach the people of the communities about health care and equip them to peer-educate so to create sustainable behavior changes in maternal healthcare and decrease the child mortality rate in these communities.

     i am very excited to be a part of this endeavor in its beginning stages as i look forward to all that i will learn about creating sustainable healthcare in communities with few resources. i look forward to updating my blog with progress notes from this month!

Judge Not.

          I have had several interactions recently with people in my family where I have felt extremely judged. I used to feel guilty when I felt judged, but now I just feel angry. And I am not out to blame anyone, because I have been one of the most judgmental people that I know. As I stated in the previous post, there are many ways that I am a product of my culture. But as Dr. Henry Cloud has said, “At some point ‘that’s how he [or she] was raised’ ceases to be an excuse.” I think we are responsible for our own thoughts and actions, hence why I have been thinking about and am now writing about this.

So back to my opening statement, since I have been more acutely aware of my own tendency to judge and my gratefulness to God for the many ways that I am growing in this area and becoming a more loving person, it bothers be to maybe an exaggerated extent when I feel judged by others. Thus I’ve felt very angry at these people whom I love, and am trying to figure out whether it’s better to mention how it bothers me or to simply let it go and pray for more grace. In thinking about all of this and the topic of judgment, I’ve come up with three conclusions: 1) Don’t judge your fellow humans! You are not God and you do not know the heart of that person completely nor the will of God for that person. Don’t project your opinions or God’s plan for you onto other people. 2) The Bible is (obviously) not interpreted the same way by all people, and it’s not our job to judge whether others are right or wrong in their interpretation. Shoot, anyone has as good a chance (or better!) as me in interpreting how the scriptures apply to life. It’s God’s place to judge, not ours (I often wonder why I try to fill those shoes that I was never meant to fill. I cause myself so much unnecessary stress!). And I’m pretty sure humans will experience the love of God more profoundly through love than through judgment. 3) When you feel the need to talk to someone about an issue, approach him or her humbly, not accusingly or blamefully. 

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged (Matthew 7:1)

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37)

He [Jesus] did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly (1 Peter 2:23)