Well, God started changing my heart when I went to China in May. I was there, in the middle of real life medical care- watching surgery and helping with post-op care, watching a complete 180 take place in these children's lives. I was so fired up for more.
Shortly after I got home, I had a meeting with my boss at CURE about plans to start next January. In talking, I felt strongly that I was supposed to start with CURE and nursing training sooner and not return to Guatemala at this time. I couldn't figure out why- I had been planning this for so long. I've wanted to do a DTS since before I sent out one college application. Despite my wants, I knew that God was leading me in this direction, and as much as I was bummed, I was at the same time excited at the prospect of starting with CURE sooner. As I accepted this direction without at first really wanting to, I felt so at peace like never before, and I saw several reasons why this really was the right decision- there were some selfish reasons getting in the way before and I wasn't seeing clearly. Yes, I felt at peace while applying and planning to attend the DTS, but when that door starting closing, I kept pushing and was loosing my peace. I thought I had this all figured out. I needed to remember, one step at a time. Follow Him one step at a time. In sharing this change of plans with one of my friends, he simply quoted to me Proverbs 16:9: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." That was it.
So that was settled and I would be moving to Honduras in mid-August. But there was one more thing. What were my new plans for the rest of this summer? Literally as soon as this this decision was made and before I had time to think about the next two months ahead of me, I got offered a job to work with kids in my own backyard- for exactly the next two months. Some dear friends of my family run a non-profit organization called The Ark, and they were getting ready to start their summer program working with at-risk kids in nine developments in our area. They needed another counselor for this program called Swim Pals, taking these kids to a variety of state parks and recreational parks, to connect with these kids and build relationships with them that will continue with The Ark for hopefully years to come. On top of this, I also was asked about tutoring Spanish-speaking kids one day a week for the summer. Could I ask for a better offer?!
The coolest part about this is that for a while it's been my prayer to be able to work with kids in our area in some way. I've had quite a bit of international experience, but I wanted to be able to reach out in this area where I grew up. I didn't give it too much thought, it was just something I had a desire to do but didn't know when or even if it would happen. To take a step back and look at God's perfect timing is very humbling. I mean, I got offered a job in exactly what I wanted to do, right when I needed it, for the exact amount of time that I needed it... How ashamed I am at how often I fret about the future, essentially saying I don't trust God's sovereignty in ever aspect of life at every moment. Why do I so often put the star-breathing, galaxy-making Creator of the universe in a box, doubting His sovereignty? Don't I realize that even if I can't see the way, He can?
I'm so thankful for this opportunity, for this little reminder He's given me that it's all in His hands whether I realize it or not. Getting to work with some great friends and getting to know some awesome kids. It's only the first week of work and I'm convinced that I'm going to learn as much, if not more than the student in the program. As I reflect on this gift, I pray that we can all remember His sovereignty in times when the darkness of whatever sort seems to have no end. Remember His timing is never wrong.
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
-1 Peter 5:7
So, that's my update, and if you've stuck with the post to this point, I want to say I'm SORRY it's so long!
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