(note: i wrote this blog as this semester
was just beginning, before anything actually began.. but then i hit
the ground running with classes and clinicals and more work hours, so
i never got around to editing and posting until now!)
i did have the most simultaneously relaxing but busy and FUN holiday season. i traveled to rwanda for christmas and then to honduras and nicaragua for the new year. i was able to see almost all of my family during this time (everyone except for my west coast brother, jon!), and as well i spent time with kennet and some of my dear latin america friends.
as i took time to relax and enjoy the time as well as reflect on the past semester and prepare for the (last!) upcoming one, one theme was consistent throughout- God's grace is sufficient. that is it, no and's if's or but's. He was faithful from the beginning, and He is faithful every step until the end, because that is who He is. De is faithful and His grace is sufficient.
i want to share a few reflections from my last semester.. it was by far my best semester not only educationally, but for me in my personal growth. there were a few "firsts" that i experienced which i could have allowed affect me negatively, but instead i saw God's grace in my life through them. I more consciously desired to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, that all these things shall be added unto me (matt. 6:33).
-first, i locked my keys in my car while about to leave for my first day of clinical! and let's just say that getting late to clinical is a big no no.. i was house-sitting, thus i didn't have my spare set of keys, so it was an instant panic. i was calling people to no avail at 5:45 in the morning. thankfully the homeowners had an extra car, and in the end after a frantic search i found their keys.
spare set of keys permanently live in my backpack now.
-second, when i was house-sitting again, i arrived late at night and forgot to fill my gas tank on the way. i have never run out of gas before, so i always assume i have enough fuel to get to the gas station. well, the early clinical morning rolls around once again and i go out to start my car to no avail. an orange light comes on: "please refuel." in disbelief and frantic again, i have no time to wait for AAA to come and save me. i cannot find the keys to the homeowners car anywhere, but then i notice gas tanks in the basement! i grab one and run to the car, and not so gracefully manage to put a few gallons in. Sweating and reeking of gas that i spilled all over my hands, i am off to clinical again.
i always find a gas station now, no matter the hour of the night.
-third, i slept past my alarm on a friday clinical, and woke at the moment that i needed to leave. i threw on scrubs and went out the door, and the frequently stopping school busses on my way were the only reason i was five minutes late.
alarm now always set with plenty of time to hit snooze.
-fourth, one evening during finals week, i spent all day in the library. i went for a quick dinner with my friend, leaving all of my things in the study room, and when we returned, the library was locked and dark. my heart sank as i got my cell out to call security. after all these years how do i miss the closing time?! security came to unlock and allow me to get all my things.
-fifth, one night when i was going to house-sit, it was late and i was tired. i stopped at a red light, looked both ways. no cars on either side. i had a momentary lapse in remembering where i was, and i pulled a honduran move and used that red light as a stop sign. i proceeded through the intersection and at the very moment when i realized what i had done and that there was no going back, i saw a police car. i have had my license for seven and half years and i've never been pulled over!! sooo frustrating. this police was nice enough to only give me a warning.
my police radar is now on point.
-sixth, i had to sleep at home alone once, and in this big house of my brother's where i live, it's not really fun to be home alone. i was feeling particularly afraid this night, having been talking about recent burglaries and sexual assaults with my special agent police brother. when i finally managed to fall asleep, a deafening alarm woke me. i was sure it was the burglar alarm and i couldn't move. i called my brother and praise God he answered his phone at three in the morning. he gave me the alarm code and told me to down stairs and turn it off. i had no other option. shaking, i ran down. turns out it was a malfunction of the fire alarm.
- seventh, i trained for and ran a sub two hour half marathon with my brother during this crazy semester!
this was the one good crazy thing that happened; it kept us in shape and kept me sane on many days.
all of these things (except the half marathon) happened to me for the first time this semester. these are supposed to be newbie mistakes, right?! and although on many days i thought am i losing my mind?!, i had more peace and more smiles on my face throughout each day then i ever have had before. i experienced the truth written in the scripture of 2 corinthians 12:9 more than i have before. He said to me: 'my grace is sufficient for you, my power made perfect in weakness.' therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
the difference was that yes, although i had little moments of panic and fear and worry and other such things that come when i lose focus, i ultimately sought to trust God more deeply and saw His grace in my life each step of the way. furthermore, instead of focusing on people's opinions of me and trying to please certain people, i spent time with people who spoke life to me and encouraged me in my faith, and in turn i was able to encourage other people.
when life comes at us with things that strike fear, big or small, we have the choice to live in that fear, or to believe in the God who is in control over all. if we trust that He is using whatever situation we find ourselves in to bring glory to Himself and bring us closer to Him, we will see His faithfulness and have His peace, one not from the world or earthly comforts, but one that can only come from Him (phil. 4:7).
these examples i gave are in fact little things in the grand story of life and quite comical in retrospect, but the point is this: in such a broken world filled with sin, everyone is living through life that is hard in some way at some time.do we have a hope greater than ourselves and circumstances to carry us through?
in whatever place you are right now, physically, mentally, spiritually, in any sense of the word "place"- i want to encourage you in the way that i have been encouraged: to see a grace and a hope that going even deeper than anything life can bring you.
Remember, He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (phil. 1:6).
i did have the most simultaneously relaxing but busy and FUN holiday season. i traveled to rwanda for christmas and then to honduras and nicaragua for the new year. i was able to see almost all of my family during this time (everyone except for my west coast brother, jon!), and as well i spent time with kennet and some of my dear latin america friends.
as i took time to relax and enjoy the time as well as reflect on the past semester and prepare for the (last!) upcoming one, one theme was consistent throughout- God's grace is sufficient. that is it, no and's if's or but's. He was faithful from the beginning, and He is faithful every step until the end, because that is who He is. De is faithful and His grace is sufficient.
i want to share a few reflections from my last semester.. it was by far my best semester not only educationally, but for me in my personal growth. there were a few "firsts" that i experienced which i could have allowed affect me negatively, but instead i saw God's grace in my life through them. I more consciously desired to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, that all these things shall be added unto me (matt. 6:33).
-first, i locked my keys in my car while about to leave for my first day of clinical! and let's just say that getting late to clinical is a big no no.. i was house-sitting, thus i didn't have my spare set of keys, so it was an instant panic. i was calling people to no avail at 5:45 in the morning. thankfully the homeowners had an extra car, and in the end after a frantic search i found their keys.
spare set of keys permanently live in my backpack now.
-second, when i was house-sitting again, i arrived late at night and forgot to fill my gas tank on the way. i have never run out of gas before, so i always assume i have enough fuel to get to the gas station. well, the early clinical morning rolls around once again and i go out to start my car to no avail. an orange light comes on: "please refuel." in disbelief and frantic again, i have no time to wait for AAA to come and save me. i cannot find the keys to the homeowners car anywhere, but then i notice gas tanks in the basement! i grab one and run to the car, and not so gracefully manage to put a few gallons in. Sweating and reeking of gas that i spilled all over my hands, i am off to clinical again.
i always find a gas station now, no matter the hour of the night.
-third, i slept past my alarm on a friday clinical, and woke at the moment that i needed to leave. i threw on scrubs and went out the door, and the frequently stopping school busses on my way were the only reason i was five minutes late.
alarm now always set with plenty of time to hit snooze.
-fourth, one evening during finals week, i spent all day in the library. i went for a quick dinner with my friend, leaving all of my things in the study room, and when we returned, the library was locked and dark. my heart sank as i got my cell out to call security. after all these years how do i miss the closing time?! security came to unlock and allow me to get all my things.
-fifth, one night when i was going to house-sit, it was late and i was tired. i stopped at a red light, looked both ways. no cars on either side. i had a momentary lapse in remembering where i was, and i pulled a honduran move and used that red light as a stop sign. i proceeded through the intersection and at the very moment when i realized what i had done and that there was no going back, i saw a police car. i have had my license for seven and half years and i've never been pulled over!! sooo frustrating. this police was nice enough to only give me a warning.
my police radar is now on point.
-sixth, i had to sleep at home alone once, and in this big house of my brother's where i live, it's not really fun to be home alone. i was feeling particularly afraid this night, having been talking about recent burglaries and sexual assaults with my special agent police brother. when i finally managed to fall asleep, a deafening alarm woke me. i was sure it was the burglar alarm and i couldn't move. i called my brother and praise God he answered his phone at three in the morning. he gave me the alarm code and told me to down stairs and turn it off. i had no other option. shaking, i ran down. turns out it was a malfunction of the fire alarm.
- seventh, i trained for and ran a sub two hour half marathon with my brother during this crazy semester!
this was the one good crazy thing that happened; it kept us in shape and kept me sane on many days.
all of these things (except the half marathon) happened to me for the first time this semester. these are supposed to be newbie mistakes, right?! and although on many days i thought am i losing my mind?!, i had more peace and more smiles on my face throughout each day then i ever have had before. i experienced the truth written in the scripture of 2 corinthians 12:9 more than i have before. He said to me: 'my grace is sufficient for you, my power made perfect in weakness.' therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
the difference was that yes, although i had little moments of panic and fear and worry and other such things that come when i lose focus, i ultimately sought to trust God more deeply and saw His grace in my life each step of the way. furthermore, instead of focusing on people's opinions of me and trying to please certain people, i spent time with people who spoke life to me and encouraged me in my faith, and in turn i was able to encourage other people.
when life comes at us with things that strike fear, big or small, we have the choice to live in that fear, or to believe in the God who is in control over all. if we trust that He is using whatever situation we find ourselves in to bring glory to Himself and bring us closer to Him, we will see His faithfulness and have His peace, one not from the world or earthly comforts, but one that can only come from Him (phil. 4:7).
these examples i gave are in fact little things in the grand story of life and quite comical in retrospect, but the point is this: in such a broken world filled with sin, everyone is living through life that is hard in some way at some time.do we have a hope greater than ourselves and circumstances to carry us through?
in whatever place you are right now, physically, mentally, spiritually, in any sense of the word "place"- i want to encourage you in the way that i have been encouraged: to see a grace and a hope that going even deeper than anything life can bring you.
Remember, He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (phil. 1:6).
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