Judge Not.

          I have had several interactions recently with people in my family where I have felt extremely judged. I used to feel guilty when I felt judged, but now I just feel angry. And I am not out to blame anyone, because I have been one of the most judgmental people that I know. As I stated in the previous post, there are many ways that I am a product of my culture. But as Dr. Henry Cloud has said, “At some point ‘that’s how he [or she] was raised’ ceases to be an excuse.” I think we are responsible for our own thoughts and actions, hence why I have been thinking about and am now writing about this.

So back to my opening statement, since I have been more acutely aware of my own tendency to judge and my gratefulness to God for the many ways that I am growing in this area and becoming a more loving person, it bothers be to maybe an exaggerated extent when I feel judged by others. Thus I’ve felt very angry at these people whom I love, and am trying to figure out whether it’s better to mention how it bothers me or to simply let it go and pray for more grace. In thinking about all of this and the topic of judgment, I’ve come up with three conclusions: 1) Don’t judge your fellow humans! You are not God and you do not know the heart of that person completely nor the will of God for that person. Don’t project your opinions or God’s plan for you onto other people. 2) The Bible is (obviously) not interpreted the same way by all people, and it’s not our job to judge whether others are right or wrong in their interpretation. Shoot, anyone has as good a chance (or better!) as me in interpreting how the scriptures apply to life. It’s God’s place to judge, not ours (I often wonder why I try to fill those shoes that I was never meant to fill. I cause myself so much unnecessary stress!). And I’m pretty sure humans will experience the love of God more profoundly through love than through judgment. 3) When you feel the need to talk to someone about an issue, approach him or her humbly, not accusingly or blamefully. 

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged (Matthew 7:1)

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37)

He [Jesus] did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly (1 Peter 2:23)

You’re Not My Favorite.

Romans 2:11: For God does not show favoritism.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about something that has bothered me over the past several years, I think because I particularly am (or more so have been) guilty of it. And for some reason it has been on my mind recently a lot more, I think because I am realizing how crazy I am and really was basically for all of my teen years.

It’s crazy to me think that I would think of some people as more important than others. How we as people in general think of actors and singers and musicians and athletes and the prince and princess of England or wherever as more important than “regular” people.  I have been obsessed with far too many people and have dreamt to be able to just be able to meet them, to shake their hand. When I was in my early and mid-teens, it was President Bush, Ace Young, and Rain Wilson (Dwight Schrute from The Office [whose hand I did end up high-fiving!]), to name but a few.  Why have I valued some celebrities more than the unknown people who are sacrificing their lives for the betterment of their fellow humans? There are so many ways that I am a product of my culture, just going along letting it shape me for good or bad, rather than trying to be a part of shaping it for the good.

I understand when someone has accomplished something honorable and they deserve to be recognized. But to then value them as a person higher than others I think is where we go wrong. More than just thinking that people in general should value all people the same, I think Christians especially should be held to a higher standard, if we are to have the mind of Christ and to see God’s children the way he sees them, as completely loved and valued equally. God doesn’t make humans in a hierarchy of any kind and I think we’ve done ourselves a great damaging service by doing so.

Just speaking specifically to Christians, how many of us value a famous person of any kind more highly? And we even value more highly the people who are supposed to teach us to value God above all and to love others equally! We easily value being with various pastors or Bible teachers or worship leaders more than we value being with God himself.

In the past six months I’ve heard Francis Chan talk about this twice, and I think it’s fully beginning to dawn on me how much damage it has caused me and causes us as humans. At the end of the day I think it is simple: Every person is unique and had unique gifts and talents and passions. We were all created to glorify God in our own way, and not one should be valued more than another. To put it more simply, God does not show favoritism, so likewise we should not.

hope... and not the kind you're thinking of

hope. what do you think of when you hear or think of the word hope?

this semester i am learning about hope in a whole new way that i have never thought of before...

i hope i passed that exam... i hope he or she isn't upset with me... i hope i don't get called in to work... i hope the sun shines tomorrow... i hope i get that job... i hope she recovers from that illness... i hope he calls me today... i hope i get that externship or summer job... i hope i can go visit my sister or my brother... i hope, i hope, i hope...

i am learning that hope alone is a poor strategy. 

why?

because hoping for things will never work. i will get a poor exam grade. in fact, i just did. i will get called in to work. he or she will get upset with me. i will lose loved ones. this is life. 

i am learning the importance of not hoping for things or in things, but hoping in someone. that someone being jesus, the hope of all, the hope that does not disappoint (Romans 5:5). see, at the end of the day, if my hope is in jesus, it doesn't matter what is going "well" or what is going "wrong." because underneath it all, jesus is the eternal hope that does not fail us. 

happiness comes and goes as good grades reports come in and bad grade reports come in. but joy anchored in jesus does not go away. and i can rejoice because of him, not because of any circumstance.

note: this semester when i go to gym by myself, i listen to a message by john piper or louie giglio. it has been a great new tradition. this post was inspired by this message of louie's:

http://passioncitychurch.com/watch#PCC-011115-V1

if i ever am the mother of a child

 i hope to teach this child just as much about ephesians 6:4 as i do about ephesians 6:1-3

1-3 Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. “Honor your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, “so you will live well and have a long life.”

4  Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

Growing up, I was always taught that the Bible verse Ephesians 4:26-27 meant than a person was never supposed to end the day while they were still angry or hadn't worked a problem out.

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT)

The issue for me was that I was always easily angered and upset at night and would cry easily so my mom would always tell me to just go to sleep so I could feel better and try to work it out when I would supposedly have a clearer mind the next day. 

With time I learned that I just need time. I am a slow processor and need time to think and formulate my thoughts before I can respond. One of the many ways I take after my dad. 

So I have been left confused by this verse and why people so strongly believe that one's anger must be resolved before the day is over and why even I was taught that while being given the opposite advice. Everyone works differently. Sometimes people need days and days and their anger doesn't go away for a while. I've always thought that it should be okay and that people should be able to take the time they need and not feel rushed or pressured for anything they are trying to work through. 

I read this verse in Psalms today and I seemed to find the answer to what I was confused about. 

Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent. (Psalms 4:4 NLT)

I feel as though many people make blanket statements about scripture and that one verse applies to all in every situation, but I don't think God works like that. He can use the same scripture to teach people different things, and as we are each created uniquely He works uniquely in our lives. 

This is where I need to be continuously conscious of my judgment towards other and their beliefs and remember the beauty of the uniqueness of each of us and what unites us is His love. 

Thoughts?

merry christmas, for real this time

a few weeks ago around thanksgiving time when i was in missouri visiting family, everything christmas began to happen as it does every year. christmas music, christmas advertisements, organizations fundraising to help people in need, christmas drinks and christmas cookies, santa and his reindeer and christmas trees and christmas movies nativity scenes begin to pop up everywhere. and it's beautiful, people are happy for the holidays, to be with family and to give and receive gifts, and for many, to celebrate the birth of jesus. i am spending christmas in honduras this year and even now the billboards are all about christmas, the malls and the homes are decorated with lights and trees and ornaments and santa, all the churches celebrating the birth of jesus; everything christmas you would imagine.


this year when everything christmas began to happen, i was surprised to realize that for the first time i was enjoying the christmas music and looking forward to christmastime in general. the moment i realized i was enjoying it all was when i realized how much i have dreaded christmastime for my whole life.

my family does not celebrate christmas, so every year growing up, people would inevitably ask my when we would be getting our christmas tree or what i got for christmas. sometimes i would make something up, but usually for the tree i always told people that my family didn't put up a tree because "i don't know" or "my mom doesn't like them."

there were three things that were happy for me about christmas, and that was on christmas eve every year, we would celebrate my cousin david's birthday and a lot of my mom's side of the family would come together for that. then on christmas day my mom's parents would come over and she would make a lamb roast. my siblings and i were also a part of our church's huge annual nativity outdoor musical which was a highlight of my year. so if the topic of christmas came up, i could usually talk about one of those three things and pretend like i was normal.

in general, with everyone being so happy to celebrate christmas and my family not celebrating it, i think it makes sense that a kid like me would dread christmastime. the thing is that until this year, i didn't realize that i dreaded it so much because i had gotten used to it, it was my normal. so then i began to wonder, why am i enjoying christmastime this year? i know that part of it, maybe all of it, is that i have come to believe that i don't think it's bad or sinful to celebrate christmas. and because i was taught as a child that christmas is materialism and christmas trees are bad and christmas is a pagan holiday and not the real birth time of jesus, i naturally believed that i would be doing something wrong to be celebrating it. it was always an inward battle when all my church friends would be celebrating, and i didn't know what to think, if they were sinning or not.

because over about the past year i have been working on becoming my own person with with my own beliefs and figuring out what beliefs i'm taking from my parents and which ones i'm leaving, i've realized that i love christmas and i want to join in the happiness with everyone. it is a very tangible sign to me that i am developing boundaries in my own life and am making my own decisions in confidence without guilt.

i do still feel awkward when people bring up the whole "going home to family" and make comments such as "there must be so many presents under your family's tree!" but now that i am figuring out what christmas means to me i am also figuring out an appropriate response to comments and conversations like these.

i don't appreciate the way that the US makes christmas so materialistic (as well as most countries i would think) and i personally am not about buying christmas presents or believing in santa, but i think it's a great story and i love trees and lights and decorations and music and cookies and the nativity. and i think that people should be free to celebrate it (or not!) as they wish with no judgement toward or from others.

and i think that so what if it's not the real birth of jesus, he should be celebrated any day and everyday, and if we've turned a pagan holiday into something beautiful, then i think that's great. let's keep turning more things into a celebration of him.

so merry christmas, friends, and for the first time, i mean it!

 

because he lives... good study break music for finals week!