Almost 2019, Oh My!

Well... it's already Christmas! Five months since my last update- wow! Two weeks ago I officially finished my first semester of grad school- all A's! I never pulled straight A's in nursing school, so I was surprised at this achievement! I am very thankful for the opportunity to be studying midwifery and that Kennet is working hard to pay our bills and cover our needs while I study full-time.  

We are living with Kennet's parents and his four siblings, although his sister just got married so she and her husband are now our neighbors and there are just 3 siblings in the house. Although I would rather live in a shared space with extended family rather than neighbors as we did in rural Guatemala, living with family can be wearying. 

Still, no matter who I'm living with or not living with, my problem is that I am constantly comparing myself to everyone else who I think I want to be like, and in any situation I will focus on what is wrong and want to fix it, rather than enjoying what is. It happened in Guatemala when I wanted to be with family either in Pennsylvania or Honduras, and it's happening now when I feel frustrated that Kennet and I don't have our own space nor privacy, something I think is necessary when trying to build our own family and traditions. 
I also have never had a permanent home since moving out of the house I grew up in at 18 years old- almost a decade ago. It's been constantly short-term housing, with belongings in storage here and there and everywhere. Maybe I shouldn't long for something so materialistic, but I do long for a permanent place to call home. Something that is ours. 

But with or without family, with or without a home, this "destination addiction" is something that is problematic for me. That idea that happiness is always at the next place causes this constant discontentment. I know that it is related to depression and wanting something external to make me feel better. This is something I've always had. I thought moving to Guatemala after "graduating" from homeschool at age 18 would make me happy. I though moving to Honduras after living in Guatemala would make me happy. I thought studying nursing at the university would make me happy. I thought working at the clinic in Guatemala would make me happy, that getting married would make me happy, that getting a puppy or having a baby would make me happy. Let's be real here: nothing makes me happy. 

Happiness has to come from within. And if I am always comparing myself to others and not dealing with the root of my problem within, I will miss out on the gift that is now.

What complicates this for me is that while I alway want something else or something more, guilt always coexists with this want. On a daily basis I see the extreme poverty that is the majority of Honduras. It's hard for me that we live in a house that is moldy and falling apart. That is infested with rats, mosquitos, and cockroaches, that rain water pours down the walls of my room. But if I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, even if it's patched with tarps, that I have electricity and warm water on most days and never have to miss a meal, that I am strong and able-bodied even with chronic back pain, I can see that I am indeed blessed beyond measure and I should give generously to helps those children, single moms, and the handicapped who I encounter daily on the streets. The pain and suffering is overwhelming and can be paralyzing. I have to constantly remind myself that no one can fix everything, but everyone can do something to help someone else. 

This Christmas season, I want to encourage you to be thankful for what you do have, and look for every opportunity to be generous and pay it forward. 

And to give you a preview of the next update...After the New Year on January 15th, we finally have our interview at the US Embassy in Tegucigalpa for Kennet's green card. We have officially been in this process for a YEAR (after we got married last year in August, we didn't receive our marriage certificate until December because of many governmental issues and political unrest, so nothing was being processed), and although we weren't supposed to get an interview date for 3-5 months right now in December after the National Visa Center accepted our case as complete, we got it in less than a month! That may seem like something little, but it's huge! This year has a been a lot of waiting, extremely tedious paperwork, and a lot of fees for everything. I don't wish this process on anyone. Needless to say, I'm so glad that we are literally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and we will soon stop having to pay the US government what feels like outrageous fees every time I blink! 

That is all for now... thank you for reading, I appreciate any feedback or comments! 

GUA- HN- USA (PA)

August 2018 marks the beginning of a new chapter for Kennet and me. I am officially beginning my studies to be a Certified Nurse- Midwife (CNM) at Jefferson University in Philadelphia (graduating class of 2020). The classes are online and we'll be living in Honduras until I begin my clinical rotations at the Maternity Center in Geisinger Bloomsburg Hospital in PA beginning in mid- 2019.

There have been many little frustrations that came with renting this little house (most of which are to be expected when living in a rural area of a developing country), but one of my favorite things has been watching the front yard turn from a muddy patch into a beautiful garden, and the beautiful sunsets we were occasionally graced with over the lake and mountains.

I am very thankful to my friend Erica McElroy, DO, who hired me as a brand new RN to work at the Casa Materna here in San Juan. I have grown in many ways during my two years here, and have seen the clinic go from a building full of dusty boxes to a clinic and birth center helping hundreds of women and babies. I wish this clinic the very best, that they will continue to collaborate with others doing similar work and implement more birthing centers in areas of need.
I have had more challenges than I ever expected, and I think that if I knew what was coming my way I wouldn't have signed up for it. But without doubt those challenges have helped me develop myself (a stereotypical average-unhealthy Enneagram 9!) into a better person. I feel that my experience here has prepared me for midwifery school, and I feel very eager to learn and become the best practitioner I can be. I am hoping the learning curve from maternal-infant care in rural Guatemala to the care I will learn to give while in university isn't completely overwhelming!

Looking back over the past two years, I feel most grateful to Kennet for supporting me in the work here. He is the one who originally convinced me that I should take this job, and
he sacrificed a lot so that we could be here. 

The playground/park near our house next to the lake where we spent many afternoons
and evenings relaxing and working out

So from August this year until April of next year we will be living in San Pedro Sula, Honduras, with Kennet's family, and we can't wait to be close to family again! I am officially a Honduran resident (hooray!) and we are waiting for Kennet's Green Card to be ready late this year or early next year, although there is no guaranteed timeline. We are so close to being able to live in the USA and Honduras without restrictions! If you've been in the process of US visas and residencies, you know it is a long (and frustrating) process. I hope that we are almost seeing the light at the end if the tunnel. 

I was surprised to learn from lawyer who is helping us with Kennet's documents the number of tourist visas that get cancelled willy-nilly. The immigration officers literally do not need a legal reason to cancel a tourist visa. It is based on their "discretion." Many people ask why Kennet's visa was cancelled in 2014, and there actually isn't a legal reason. My conclusion is that is was God sending him back to Honduras to meet me :) The lawyer basically said that a tourist visa is your chance to "knock on the door" but it does not guarantee you entrance. I never knew that until going through this process. 

I begin classes on August 20 (ironically the birthdate of my little brother who died in childbirth 💔), and while Kennet moves all of our belonging from here (Guate) to Honduras,I will spend the first 2.5 weeks of the month in PA to visit family and friends and spend time with my Rwandan family-  my sister Emily, her husband, their little boy, and new baby due at the end of July will also be in PA during that time!

That is the latest from the Silva-Haas family. Stay tuned! 

National Foster Care Month

This year is the the 30th National Foster Care Month in the USA. It began in 1988 with President Ronald Reagan.

To me, it is a reminder of the Gospel, the greatest news of all time:

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

-Ephesians 1:5

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, "Abba, Father."

-Romans 8:15

My mom shared this video recently, and I was reminded once again how my family and I personally have been blessed by both foster care and adoption, and how grateful I am for those who are a part of this.  

In honor of this month, I want to share with you two (of the many) organizations that I have come to love and support. They work with orphan prevention (something that has become very important to me), foster care, and adoption.

The first one is here in Guatemala, Hope for Home Ministries. It was founded and is operated by one of my friend's family. They specifically work with special-needs orphans and families who have children with special needs. Because of limited funds and staff, they have to turn away several needy children per day. Just recently, they had to turn away a group of six siblings ages 13 and younger, two of siblings being pregnant. Most children who can't be placed into safe homes stay with their abusive families or get put into overcrowded and abusive government facilities. 

I have been fortunate to be able to collaborate in small ways with the nurse they work with who is taking on their new birthing center project which will be built outside of a large dump. 

If you'd like to support them or learn more about them, check them out here.

The second ministry is in my second homeland- Honduras. My friend Tara and her husband founded and run this organization called Identity Mission. They work with public orphanages, private orphanages, training Christian foster families, supporting families so they don't have to give their children away, and finding adoptive families when it isn't possible for children to stay with their family.

If you'd like to support them or learn more about them, you can visit them here.

BONUS: any donation to you give to them this month will be doubled in honor of National Foster Care Month!

I read a blog recently from Story International here in Guatemala with this statistic:

“Each year, approximately 14,050,000 children turn 18 and age out of the system. They cease to be included in the total number of orphans worldwide. They do not, however, cease to be a vulnerable population."

Do you have a story to share about orphan prevention, foster care, or adoption? I'd love to hear about it!

I was remembering recently how God designed us as humans to be part of loving families. The family is God's design. And I remembered how Jesus Christ himself was adopted by his father, Joseph. Another example to me of the beauty of adoption.

Starting Clean In 2018

The title of this blog is the motto of a dear friend of mine who I've know my whole life but we haven't always kept in touch... We recently reconnected and she has become a friend who I can tell anything to and I will receive zero judgement and complete understanding. Everyone needs one of those kind of lifelong friends! 


30 days into 2018! 1/12 of the way through the year! How are you resolutions going? What are your resolutions?

Nicaragua, January 2018

Kennet's first time horseback riding! My favorite pastime of all we finally did together! At Morgan's Rock in Nicaragua with friends + family

I have to be honest and say that I haven't set resolutions this year, and I don't know when's the last time I did. I do know that whenever it was, I definitely didn't complete them. 

Starting in the end of October right before my 26th birthday, I began the Master Heart Course by Christa Black Gifford (see the end of my second-to-last post). I didn't even make it through the first week out of the six and I decided to.. let's say, "postpone" it until New Years.. or... sometime. That was my way of putting it off indefinitely until the "right" time or a "better" time. I didn't want to face everything in my heart. It was (is) easier to keep the door shut and locked and keep pretending my way through life. 

Well, the New Year came and went and Kennet and I had a great time during the holidays with both of our families. I spent some time in Sanibel, Florida at my family's home, then we spent Christmas and New Years with Kennet's family in Honduras and then we traveled to Nicaragua to see friends and my family again for my mom's 60th birthday. It was a great time. On the surface. Story of my life.

The story of my life has been a struggle to know my inherent value, to love myself, to live with happiness (see my posts from July and November 2014). It has been deep valleys, but no doubt with some small mountain tops along the way. Mountain tops such as working as a fundraiser for children's medical care in Honduras, graduating with my BSN (nursing) degree, getting married (not just to anyone but to someone who is fun and loves people and knows what commitment and unconditional love mean), helping start a birthing center in Guatemala, getting accepted into graduate school... all of these external things. They have all been more or less based on my my achievements, coming out of eighteen years of not believing I'd amount to anything or was worth anyone's time.

I have been fortunate to be surrounded by many strong people of God who have spent time with me, talked with me, prayed over me; these people have helped sustain me throughout my life. But I have always struggled with happiness. Hence why three months after getting married I was so happy to begin this course that I thought would so easily fix me. I shut that door very quickly when I learned that "easily" wasn't part of it. I quickly saw this course wasn't like any other retreat or conference I've attended in the past (though I've attended some great ones which have had lasting impact in my life). And it dawned on me, life isn't about quick fixes, ever. It's about being faithful throughout the journey. Anything worthwhile is going to take hard work.

Now I'm approaching six months of being married (what!), and I'm feeling tired of making life not fun for not only me, but for both of us. I'm tired of my mood and my words and my actions being based on whatever is determining my mood in a given moment. I want my thoughts to shape my reality, not my reality to shape my thoughts. I want to be in control. I know that the Bible is full of writings about being content in all circumstances, taking control of ourselves, knowing our inherent invaluable value having been created in the image of God, rejoicing always, but I've never been able to get anything from the Bible from my head to my heart. Not in any real way.

Over this past month of really procrastinating with taking control of myself and starting this course, literally every book, Instagram post, blog, vlog (I love them-- I am currently following the vlog of Nabeel and Michelle Qureshi on YouTube), song, sermon... everything I've read or listened to has been pointing me towards the fact that  I  have to put in the effort [Passion City Church's Nov 5, 2017 sermon is one of the best I've heard on this topic]... I have to make a conscious decision and take the action to accomplish what God desires to do in my life. This is a daily happening. As Levi Lusko says, "victory in your life doesn't come through one thing and now you're undefeated, it's small things continuously repeated."

Shortly after we got married on a particularly down day, I told Kennet, "I just want someone to give me permission to be happy." He told me, "I give you permission!"

In Braving the Wilderness, the book my sisters and I are reading right now in our book club, Brené Brown says, "I sat on the edge of my bed and fought back tears. I started thinking, I need a permission slip. I need a permission slip to stop being so serious and afraid. I need to give myself permission to have fun today. That got the idea started....I wrote myself a permission slip on a post-it note from my computer bag. It simply said, 'permission to be excited and goofy, and to have fun.' It would be the first of hundreds of permission slips I would go on to write for myself. I still write them today. And I teach everyone who will give me five minutes of their time the power of this intention-setting method.... Set the intention, follow through."

Recently my friend texted me, "Satan's greatest victory would be stealing the beauty that your life is shining forth in this season! It is magnificent, full of adventure, beauty, newness, and hope!! Yes revel and enjoy today!!! Because today is so very good!!!..."

So when's the "right" time to start taking control, to set your resolutions? To not let Satan have the victory for another moment? Now. Whenever now is. Don't wait for the stars to align in a certain way or for a certain date.
I am starting to put in my side of the deal, and yes, it seems daunting. Overwhelming. But when I think of my life over the past 26 years and what I want for the next 26+ years (or just this present moment since I don't know what is past this moment), putting in the work totally seems worth it. Especially when there is more than enough grace for each thought, decision, and act. Remember, more than enough grace and forgiveness for every mistake that I will make every day. This year I want to begin establishing myself as a happy person because that is who I am. Not because of something external.

For people who don't struggle with depression, low-self esteem/ self-worth, constantly feeling overwhelmed by the sadness and insanity of humanity, this post might not make sense. But I hope to encourage those of you who do understand me and can relate. I hope that you can join me in choosing to put negative thoughts away and choosing to be happy. If for no other reason than you deserve to be happy and I deserve to be happy. It's how we were intended to live. And if you are already on that journey, I'm glad to be joining you!

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

Maya Angelou


I saw the face of God in me. If you look in the mirror and have any condemning thought, you don’t know what you’re looking at, because I’m made in the beauty and likeness of the Trinity and so are you.
Christa Black Gifford

Love Your Neighbor Generously

     Happy November! My favorite month of the year. I am greatly missing the beautiful Fall weather of Pennsylvania, but yesterday I welcomed the month with my homemade pumpkin chocolate bread, and pure maple sugar (brought to my all the way from northern NY from my sister-in-law!) And our next door neighbor gave us a huge steaming bowl of vegetables- corn, sweet potatoes, wiskil, and squash. in this culture, this is the way that they celebrate the Día de los Santos (Day of the Saints) every November 1st.


     In my last post I talked a bit about the difficulties of living in our little village here at Lake Atitlán.

     As my husband can attest to, I get easily overwhelmed. I have always been this way. Overwhelmed not only with my own life, but the lives of the world. I allow things that are out of my control to control me. The many crises of our very broken world and increasing terrorist attacks affect my daily life in a profound way. And when I say "affect" I don't mean that I am now doing something (outside of praying) for every crisis that I am aware of, because that isn't possible. But they affect me in a way that it harms my own self, my own marriage, my daily work and responsibilities. They consume my thoughts and I quickly spiral out of control.

     Once when I was a young teen, I was with my friend who to this day remains a dear friend. We were in Florida at my parents' house and we were parting ways. One of us was going on a trip or going back to Pennsylvania (I can't remember who). She prayed for me before we parted, and the only line of her prayer that I still remember is that she prayed that I would not take on burdens that are not mine to carry. No one had ever prayed that for me before. It struck me so deeply and I've never forgotten it because I've always struggled with it so much. 

     Over the past year plus of living here, I've been thinking about that prayer a lot more. One of the books that my sisters and I recently read for our book club is The Hiding Place. An absolutely amazing testament to God's faithfulness in the midst of unthinkable horror. But as beautiful as the story of Corrie ten Boom and her family is, this book was hard for me to read. I am aware that the level of World War II suffering exists in this present day, and it is hard for me to live with this knowledge. 

     Recently, Kennet and I had yet another request from a neighbor for financial assistance, and in these past days I've had two "revelations" from this particular situation. 

     First, Jesus' teaching about loving your neighbor. When asked what is the greatest commandment, He answered: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:30-31). Yes, in Matthew and Mark Jesus also teaches his disciples to "go into all the world" and in Acts He tells them that they will be His witnesses "to the ends of the earth." But He says that the most important commands are to love God and your neighbor as yourself. 

     Do you ever feel overwhelmed? It can be paralyzing, right? And that's exactly what the enemy wants-- for us to do nothing. When I become overwhelmed, I become paralyzed and do nothing. And then I'm not even able to do the things that I can do, that I'm clearly supposed to do- love my neighbor. Jesus didn't say that the greatest commandment is to love the multitudes, he said to love God and our neighbor. That is the place to start.

     The second is gifting versus loaning. I know that the Bible talks about both. I am by no means an expert in this area, in fact I know very little, but I am interested in it and am researching it more. In the Old Testament (Exodus and Deuteronomy), for example, the Mosaic Law says that one can lend money, but to the poor it must be lent without interest. And at the end of every seven years all debts were to be cancelled. Yet Moses also taught in Deuteronomy 15, "If among you, one of your brothers should become poor, in any of your towns within your land that the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart or shut your hand against your poor brother, but you shall open your hand to him and lend him sufficient for his need, whatever it may be." We also see many times throughout the wisdom of Proverbs that God blesses the generous: "He who has a generous eye will be blessed, for he gives of his bread to the poor" (22:9).

     In the New Testament, we see Jesus teaches about giving without expecting anything back. In Luke 6 He says, “Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods, do not ask them back. And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you?... Do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful." 

     That line of thought is contrary to the mainstream culture, no? But imagine if whenever I were in need, someone helped me without asking for a return. And then I in turn did the same. I wouldn't have to worry about being able to pay someone back, or receiving my full payments back. Borrowers wouldn't be slaves to lenders (Prov 22:7). I believe this is a way that we can love our neighbor as ourselves. We could give freely and receive freely, knowing that God is the one who gives us the power to get wealth, He is the one who sends poverty and wealth (Deut. 8:18, 1 Sam. 2:7, Job 1:21).

     So at the end of the day, when I feel overwhelmed and/or tired of requests for things or money, I need to remember that it is a blessing to both give and receive, but it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35)

The Past 6 [and 1/2] Months, Part 2

Probably the biggest thing during the past six months has been our wedding! Kennet and I got married on August 13th at the beach in Tela, Honduras, and it was such a HAPPY time. 

I did regret not having travel coordinator for guests, and I had to do my best to not let "situations" with my family affect me. It was also difficult for me to have my wedding in Honduras while living in Guatemala, and with sisters being in the US and Rwanda, they couldn't assist me with much. Thankfully, Kennet's family did SO much for me. They helped with ALL the decoration details. All of the decorations for the reception and the ceremony area were all thanks to Kennet's mom. She also helped me to have my dress tailored. In February of this year I went to the US for a family reunion and had one afternoon free to go and find a dress. I found a bridal store with an open appointment at that time and went with my mom, sister Emily, and sister-in-law. I tried on the three dresses that they had in the sort of style that I wanted and went with the one I liked the most. Definitely not how I imaged my bridal dress shopping would go, but since our engagement in August 2016 that was my only chance to get one in the US since I wouldn't be going  back again until long after the wedding. When I think about the little frustrations of the wedding, it is a good reminder to me that the purpose of the wedding was to just get married, and to have as many of our family and friends present as possible. That is what made it pure happiness! For me, the people are the most important memories, and at the end of the day the dress and flowers and decorations don't really have lasting value. 

Now, to people who have yet to plan a wedding, I will say this: if there is one or two things that are really important to you, focus on those things! For me, it was having the full-length video of our wedding, one where we could re-watch the ceremony and hear the words that were spoken. I, however, didn't clarify that with the photographer/ videographer, so now it is something that I will never have. 

But again, I'm thankful for the friends and family who were able to come and the beautiful time we had together. Despite inevitable frustrations, I can say that none of my many literal nightmares leading up to the wedding came true, and my one dream did come true: we are married now!

 w/ my dad and mom, 9 siblings, 3 in-laws, and 9 nieces and nephews

w/ Kennet's parents + 4 siblings

                          

Kennet surprised me with a wonderful and relaxing honeymoon cruise from Panama to Colombia, Curaçao, Bonaire, and Aruba. So much delicious food, time in the sun and the water, exploring new places, and meeting wonderful and helpful people. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

Now we are two months married, but the wedding feels so long ago. What was my little house in San Juan is now our home, and we are learning how to live together and love each other unconditionally. 

Kennet and I get to work together a lot as he works part-time with the Casa; I love that and hope we are work and ministry partners for life. He always remains involved with other ministries (mostly Haiti and Honduras) and his business from a distance, and occasionally locally here with the youth from the church and with mission teams from our sponsor church in PA, Christ Wesleyan. 

This month we have submitted my application for me to be a Honduran resident (yay!) so I won't have to leave the CA-4 (Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, El Salvador) every 90 days. 

We've also submitted the preliminary paperwork for Kennet's green card, so within the next year and half we should be able to go to the US together! At this moment of my life, nothing excites me more. We just might have a WHITE Christmas next year! 

I also want to go to graduate school to get my master's degree in Midwifery which will be for two years. This is the main reason we want Kennet to be able to have the green card, other than being able to visit our friends and family.

_______________________________________________________________________________

As I've mentioned many a time, the work with the Casa over the past year has been fulfilling and I've been learning so much along the way (and it has confirmed my desire to study further). Moreover, after a year of dating long-distance while I was in my last year of nursing school, and then part-time long distance during our year of engagement, nothing feels happier for me than to be married to and be able to live with, be with, travel with (most times), my now husband (how long does it take for that word to start sounding normal after one gets married? I rarely use the term 'my husband' because it makes me feel very old!).

Even with this contentment with the great things that we've accomplished with the Casa and of being together, it hasn't been without its difficulties. For one, I feel as though I have done my job of helping the Casa get up and running smoothly. At times I feel very anxious and ready to be able to do more, and I am aware that what is next is studying for the specialty. 
Furthermore, this region of Lake Atitlan is remote and it can be difficult to be far from 'civilization' (grocery stores, home goods stores, clothing stores, advanced mechanic shops, airport). There are those frustrations which are still livable (stocking up on 2-3 months worth of non-perishable food when visiting the city, having to stay 1-2 nights in a hotel in the city while the truck is being repaired, having to leave the day before a flight is to depart, frequently having the electricity and water shut off (and unreliable hot water), not having a dryer, having a half-functioning stove, not having cell service to be able to call family/ people in the US, not easily being able to receive mail), but the most difficult thing for me is not having friends or a community at all. Thankfully Kennet and I are homebodies, can read or watch TV series for hours, and love to be together 99% of the time without getting tired of only having each other. For most people I know, they wouldn't stand this lifestyle. And there are those times I admit that I also feel Iike I cannot! 

I've never been one to get homesick until living here. I expected to feel completely at home, like I could live here forever, the way that I felt when I was in both Antigua and SPS, Honduras. But I've found that I long to be able to stop by and see Kennet's family at anytime, spend time with my sisters, with my friends from nursing school, my nieces and nephews, to have a church community that Kennet and I can connect with. Even though we have each other, on many days I feel that we are so far away from everyone we love... it can be quite lonely. Yet my desires are conflicting, because I don't desire to live in the US at all and I know since a I was young girl that I would live as a missionary.

In my years of singleness, I always daydreamed that as a newlywed I was have a cute little house (which we do), and invite people over for movies, guitar-playing, coffee, baking, to have a space where anyone could come and just be (so many people have done that for me over the years). I have my bookshelves full, anticipating that I would lend books to many a friend. Yet I have found here that I don't want people to come to my house or see my belongings. Being surrounded by this general lack of monetary wealth causes our neighbors to see us more as a bank than a friend. We are frequently asked to loan money, help pay school fees, help get a family member out of jail, etcetera, and that plays a part in the loneliness.

I am thankful that I have married an eternal optimist (we balance each other!) and that together we are learning to take life one season at a time, one day a time, taking full advantage of being a blessing to and being blessed by the people we are with. We are here at this time for a purpose. We don't want to waste any chapters of our lives.

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In my many quiet mornings/ afternoons/ nights (depending on the day) I've been enjoying being a part of a 'book club' with my sisters, as well as listening to a variety of podcasts. For now I'll end this post with my current #1 podcast: Head to Heart by Christa and Lucas Gifford. Other than the book Boundaries, any other book or podcast I had ever read/listened to (in the spiritual/ self-help category) went out the window. The podcast led me to purchase her (Christa Black Gifford) book, Heart Made Whole, which has led me to take her 6-week class based on the book. This process of inner healing through the power of the Holy Spirit, learning how to love myself and be a loving wife is just that- a process! In learning all of this while living far from loved ones, Christa's materials have come to me in the most timely manner. Stay tuned for more!

The Past 6 Months (Part 1)

It's quite hard to believe that we are three quarters through 2017! Yikes... my blog has definitely been neglected! I'm going to give an update on the past 6 months in two parts, the first related to work/ministry, the second a personal update.

The Casa in-country staff is now a grand total of 12, seven staff and five community facilitators, and 3 US-based volunteers. We have been taking great strides, completing our kitchen on the ground level, and daily utilizing our clinic space upstairs for prenatal care and birth attendance. To date (Nov 2016 - Sept 2017) we have 275 patients, 78 of those women already haven given birth at the Casa. Each month we've had between 1-6 references to the National Hospital for high risk pregnancies, totalling 30 to date. Our patients have all come from the lake region, thus far from the following towns: San Pedro, San Pablo, San Marcos, San Juan, as well as a few from the rural villages of San Juan.

Throughout these past eleven months, we have held various educational classes for pregnant mothers and their comadronas (indigenous "midwife"/birth attendant) but this September we have begun two new programs: the first being training 5 community facilitators who help us with postpartum home checkups and newborn education, and the second being a monthly class for the local pregnant women and comadronas as well as those in the 3 rural villages of San Juan. 
Each month we teach the women a different topic about pregnancy, birth, care of newborns, and general health. In the villages, we promote the Casa Materna, provide them with prenatal vitamins, and provide an exam of fetal heart rate and the position of the baby. We encourage them to come to the Casa or a clinic where an ultrasound can be provided at least once before birth to confirm the position and well-being of the baby. 
Our first official class was a success; although we only had a few women attend, I was able to detect a baby in a transverse position by palpation, and I encouraged this mother to have an ultrasound for confirmation being that she is nearing her due date next month. I was very happy to see her at the clinic two days later. She made the effort to come all the way to our facility, with her two little ones, for her prenatal check and ultrasound. Her baby is in fact transverse, so now we are able to provide her with the appropriate exercises and monitor her progress. Two barriers for many women getting safe prenatal care is lack of knowledge and distance to proper care facilities, so we are trying to build bridges to eliminate these barriers.

We are also providing support to our patients born with special needs and special cases such as mothers who want to give their baby for adoption. We are very grateful for the recourse of Centro Maya right here in San Juan. As well I have been consulting with some friends who run a ministry for children with special needs in many parts of the country. We are currently consulting with World Pediatric Project and they are proving to be a great resource. As we encounter new cases, we continue to broaden our horizons and make connections with more people who are helping orphans and families with few resource to find the solutions they need.

It's hard to believe that the Casa is coming up on its one-year anniversary. It began as a dream of my friend Erica, and through the faithfulness of God we have been taking baby steps, helping those we encounter daily to the best of our ability. Our dream is to help as many as we can, and each and every person we can help have a safe pregnancy, birth, and a better quality of life is a gift to us. As long as God is willing to provide the location and resources for the Casa to function, there are able and willing hearts here serving without ceasing; I am very thankful for our dedicated Guatemalan staff and to be able to both learn and teach alongside them.

Please be sure to follow us on social media to stay in touch with us!

Facebook: Casa Materna Atitlan

Instagram: casamaternaatitlan

Website: Casa Materna Atitlan (casamaternaatitlan.org)

If you would like to make a donation to a specific project or patient (via our website!), please do email me at casamaternasanjuan@gmail.com and let us know for how much is your donation and what it is designated for.